This is for my biblical scholars, or anyone with advice. Help! I've always been drawn to Mark 9:24, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief." I am not sure why, but there's something about a paradox that I love. Then again, Toni Morrison IS my favorite author. So I think about this scripture from time to time and try to understand why this father would say I believe and I don't believe all in the same breath; then it kind of hit me. Today, I was thinking about all of the things, moments, people that my mother never got to even witness or meet. I then thought, "I still don't understand why people die." Then I thought, "well I understand why people die, but I don't understand the "when" aspect of death." I'm not sure if this statement is completely true, but I think that if I lost my mom when I was 40 or 50 as opposed to 15 then it would have been easier, but who knows. Back to my original point. I believe in God for everything, ok most things, most times. When it comes to death and taking people away and destroying families then like the father in the text, I'm asking God to help my unbelief. I'm a believer. I've given my life to Christ, but there are still things I don't understand, hence my "unbelief." I have moments when I trust that God knew exactly what He was doing and that all of this has purpose even when I don't know exactly what that purpose is, presently. On the contrary, there are moments when I think "why me" and "what did I do to deserve such a catastrophe?" As always, I will continue to pray that God makes His plan clear. But beyond that, I will pray that my trust in Him....my faith in Him does not waver when I don't understand His workings.
Suggestions?
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